Blog blog blog, blog blog bloggog! (3x)

What to write, what to write, what to write, yeah.

Jesus Cheerist, i'm so darn bored. I want to get the hell out of this place I call my office and head out somewhere. I don't know, where, as long as it's out. My job is offering me nothing but monotony. I used to love being an English Editor, by the way, but things have suddenly taken a sharp turn. Perhaps it's my eternally schizophrenia-driven state of mind that makes me seek something different. I got this job in July 2002. Then, I was more than thankful to land a job that involved writing. But now, I realized, here I do writing for OTHER PEOPLE, not for myself. I hardly get to write anything anymore. The things I send to publications are those I've written years back, and have just fished out recently. I try to explain the reason for my idleness at present. And why I don't seem to have any interest in writing anymore. One is probably because I'm too freaking tired to do anything else. And also, I don't have PC at home and I'm too 'tamad' to write by hand. Not that I wasn't used to it before, but because my current job requires sitting in front of the computer for 8 hours, typing. I lost the ability to write.

To add to that, my hand cannot keep up with my mind. Whenever I hold an idea in my head, i try to write it down for fear of losing it. I pick up a piece of paper and write. But, hell, I lose it anyway. I really can't cope with the speed.

I don't even know why I'm talking about this. All I know is that, right now, I'm BORED, and a gallon of instant coffee cannot perk me up. By the way, our office has INSTANT coffee, which makes me want to gag. It has this really nasty aftertaste that makes me want to head to the restroom to brush my teeth. Icky. My saliva gets really sticky and I develop this sour taste in my mouth. I don't know if it's just me, or if it does happen to everybody else. Does it? Grrr.... Idea. idea. idea. I need ideas on how to write that article for indiefilipino. I can't come up with something to write about. I read up on stuff related to the copyrighting case I'm handling, but I can't read, either. Too bored. Too sleepy.

In the process of trying to find money to pay my bills, I lost my drive to write. My alter ego says it's sad.