"Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere."

Perhaps I should stop whining about things that are not, and start focusing on things that are. In the past days, I've been contemplating leaving my job because I feel so burned out. I keep complaining about why I don't have a stable lovelife. I also keep wondering why, despite the two jobs I hold plus the freelance writing stints I drown myself in, I still don't get to open that stupid bank account at Equitable. Why? Primarily because I don't have money to save. Which is funny, by the way, because I get lotsa moolah every month. The question continually haunts me, "where does all my money go?" For this, i have no answer. I sit on my bed at night, trying to list all the things I spent on but I could not come up with anything significantly costly to create such a big hole on my salary. Hmm.. is it the constant cab rides? the nights out? the splurging on food and writing materials? nakakainis.

Perhaps i should start making a list of the things I should be thankful for:
- my family who unconditionally supports and loves me despite the rebel of a daughter and bitch of sister I am. I am thankful i am loved for the person I am.
- my friends. it's a very short list mind you. they come through for me though they hate my bossy attitude and my sudden bursts of eccentricity, or when i morph back and forth from cowboy girl to conyo kid to whoever. i am grateful for their patience
- my career. though I complain about my hectic schedule, i am showered with a lot of writing opportunities to the point that I do not know which to handle first. a lot of people in my field struggle to earn gigs and here I am juggling one after the other. but that doesn't include the perennial problem of my not meeting deadlines. gemini.
- my outlook toward life. life is good. if only i be more positive toward it.
- my social life. i may not have a boyfriend but at least I have dates lined up. (oo, magbubuhat ako ng sarili kong bangko. i need it to make me feel good about myself)

hmmm... what else? will think about it next time.