Written Jan 7, 2003 10:00PM

Odd Christmas Present

My sister must have thought me nearly devoid of emotion when she decided to gift a book titled "Why Am I Afraid To Love?" for Christmas. I take no offense, really. I am sure she meant well. But the question haunts me as to why this book, above all others. Was it because she had no idea what to get me, hence, settling for the safest, and probably cheapest, book she absentmindedly snatched from a shop? Or was it because she actually knew what the book contained and thought I deserved an upper for the holidays?

Admittedly, I have not turned a single page of the book. I am afraid to know what lies beyond the poorly designed paperback cover (I wish the publisher had spent more time with it). Why Am I Afraid To Love was written by a Jesuit priest. Very Atenean. I assume it to be saturated with life’s lessons and references to the Almighty, as regards His undying and unconditional love. Hmm. Maybe it is my sister's way of telling me to stop worrying about men and start turning my attention to Him.

It has been a while since I attended mass.

For those who have been following my blog since Make Lemonade and Skeletons In My Closet, you would know I really do not have much praise for the Catholic Church. As a disclaimer, let me first say I do believe in a God. I just do not believe in memorized chants recited once a week for an hour. I do not believe that being able to word out these prayers without fail will redeem me of my sins. I do not support such hypocrisy. I pray in my own time and in my own way.

The book lies near my feet right now. I am tempted to thumb through it just so my theories would be settled. But I guess I will just have to put it off for another day. Perhaps when I am more sane. I am not procrastinating at this point. I just find the book too sacred to be treated as toilet reading or something to help me go to sleep.

Besides, my sister gave it to me. And such gift from a good person is meant to be enjoyed with a clear mind and a content heart.

What Men Want (?)

According to a friend who refuses to be named, the top 3 sexual fantasies men generally have are the following (in no particular order):

A threesome (with two hot women), a teacher-student affair, office sex

We're dealing with straight men here, so it has to be two women (so I was told). Mild bondage is welcome but what would really take the cake is seeing the two hotsies pleasure each other.

A teacher-student affair need not be taken literally. It can simply mean an encounter between a man and a woman with a wide age gap in between. Of course, some guys would want to have their professors, but that's the ultimate. Some settle for the 20-year-old guy 30-year-old woman or MILF affair, while some prefer the Lolita version, with a near geriatric male (okay, okay middle-aged male) and a teenage girl.

Office sex is probably the most daring among the three (in my opinion). Imagine having it casually with a person you see almost everyday and pretend nothing happened. The possibilities are endless with this type, actually. Especially when the office has a lot of secret nooks and closed doors. I was told this is most enjoyable when there are many gadgets lying about. I remember watching 40 Days and 40 nights where Josh Hartnet's officemate photocopied her ass. Wicked.

I'm sure there are more fantasies out there that are milder or even more perverse than these three. But if I were to ask any guy to come up with their top 3 in 5 seconds, two or even all three would definitely come up.

Thanks to you, J.P., for the tip. Will write about this in an alternate blog in the future. This is highly unsafe territory. Har har har!

What I Get From Reading Entertainment Columns

Ruffa's heckler mom Annabel Rama owns more than Php8m worth of jewelry?? Wow, her underground escort business must have really made a lot of gold. Or were they from the Sultan of Brunei?

Which reminds me, one of Ricky Lo's Star articles months back talked of Ruffa demanding she be called either Mrs. Bektas or Mrs. Ylmaz Bektas. Has she gone that high up the social ladder already? What happened to plain old Ruffa Gutierrez? Is her real name suddenly not good enough for her anymore?

Aha, so rumor has it that Alicia Mayer (aka Alicia Bonifacio) has an ex-husband whom she owes a lot of money to. This same guy reportedly revealed that Alicia was not a model in Hong Kong, as what she has been telling the press previously. According to him, she made money being a high class hooker.

So what else is new? A lot of students from our most reputable schools are also high class prostitutes, or escorts. Yes, these are rich girls with creamy porcelain skin who just need extra cash for their many luxuries. Even some ramp models. Even our virginal-looking celebrities. This is what the world has become.

Everything is driven by sex, whether we admit it or not.

Intelligence

They say intelligent people talk about ideas, because idiots talk about people. Does my being interested in the lives of high-profile personalities make me an idiot? I think not.

Let's put it this way, I am in constant search for truth. And truth is everywhere. In books, in television shows, in daily routines. As humans, we study how others behave in order to learn from them. We see how other people react to certain situations and observe the pitfalls so we would be able to evade the same fate (if negative) or seek it (if positive).

If this is what partly characterizes being human, then all of us are idiots.

Note:
The book is still staring at me from 3 feet away. I think I should take heed to its call.