The coffee does nothing to calm my anxiety. The sharp pain the heat causes my already sore tongue cannot compare to the pain-elation-pain as I anticipate the end of 30 days. I wait.

He has gone from my thoughts. It surprises me to even write about how I often forget who he was, who he probably is and what he has done. Perhaps, this is what they call effectively moving on. My battle scars are visible enough to remind of the fight I let up with conviction. With love. It was a battle lost.

I emerged scathed but wiser. But I feel less pain now than yesterday. Another has come to haul the sun from behind the clouds. I cease to live in the shadows. No longer the lone wolf awaiting the darkness of night. Yes, today, I will live in daylight, smiling at God's plan.

Diving light has come upon me and bathed me with its grace. My angel has arrived. I welcome flight.