When I was in college, I had a massive asthma attack which I couldn't ward off because dorm rules strictly stated that nobody was allowed to out beyond 9pm. (I was in my freshman year at Kalayaan Hall, UP Diliman) I didn't have any medicine with me and chugging gallons of water was not helping anymore. The itch inside my chest was so unbearable whenever I tried to cough it out or breathe. As a result, I tried to hold my breath in and inhale/exhale ultra slowly with the least amount of effort so as not to trouble my stubborn lungs. It worked. I inhaled deeply until i couldn't inhale anymore and held my breath for ten seconds, then release the air slowly through my nose. I could feel the air clumping inside my chest and the manner it stopped phlegm development inside. It was a medical breakthrough! From then on, I stopped relying on the nebulizer and Ventolin. I told my friends who had asthma to do the same thing. NOBODY BELIEVED ME. I told my boss about the technique a few months ago. I could sense he was dubious.

Today, he gave me an article from the The Age business journal about a recent discovery by doctors on the effectiveness of controlled breathing on thwarting the complication of an asthma attack.

"Doctors in Sydney and at Melbourne's Alfred hospital are investigating whether the debilitating lung constrictions of asthma can be controlled by breathing differently. Participants were being trained to use various techniques, including nasal or mouth breathing, different depths and frequencies of breathing and altered muscle use."

It's funny medical experts only got to discover this now. I've been living on this technique for four years now and I discovered it on my own. Surely other asthmatic people out there know this but never really bothered to try it out because their doctors told them to get addicted to aerosol sprays. Now EVERYONE BELIEVES ME. Funny.

Note: Something is terribly wrong with Blogger. For the past two days, I've been typing on a screen that allows me to see only one line from my text. That means, I won't be able to review what I've written. Well, unless i scroll up the mini bar on the right side and read line by line. I hope they get to fix it soon. I wonder who I should complain to.

Anyway, Inquirer finally sent me a message and we're having that much anticipated meeting tomorrow at 5pm. I will have to come to work earlier than 1pm to get a good head start if I'm to leave the office for about 2 hours. It's a good thing that the PDI office is near mine. I won't have to worry about the traffic too much. I just hope it doesn't rain. It'll cramp my style. (As if meron) They asked us to bring a Fashion find. I am tempted to bring the scarf I dug out from the grandmother's closet about two years ago. I think she bought it from one of her trips in Paris. I use the scarf on my head when I'm having a bad hair day, or on my big bayong to drive away criticism that I'm bringing rice and vegetable (and a live hen) inside my bag. I suppose they'll ask us to reveal the price of the item so they could post it on the paper. I'm no shopper and most of my stuff come from my grandmother's cabinet. She was a fashionista during her younger years. I even have this red shoe while black stripes that look so funky I can't imagine she dared wear those some years back. That will probably single me out from the bunch. I rummage through my family's old clothes and hardly buy things for myself. Yeah, I should tell them that tomorrow. Worst case scenario, if they demand it to be something I bought from some flea market, I would whip out my famous red trenchcoat. It's not cheap but it's an excellent fashion find.

*Happy birthday to my grandmother, Lilia Alvarez Doctor. She is celebrating it today with the rest of the clan at Insular Hotel Davao City. While I, the lost child, eat McDonald's Chicken Happy Meal with a Timon pencilcase on my 1:00-8:00 job in Metro Manila. I realized, after discovering I need to pay 24,000 to cover my half of two months rent for my and Hazel's new 2bedroom flat, I have begin munching on salt with extra rice for the next few weeks. The worst part of paying rent is the initial month.

We're moving in next week. I have no bed. No fan. No sofa. Neither does my cousin. We have no ref. No TV. And we have a humongous bill to pay. Add that to 2,000 in monthly association dues, parking fees, and moving in fees.

From now on, we will starve ourselves.

the speech in Filipino will have to wait to be completed. I'm not really in the mood to think deep thoughts right now. There is a pile of business articles waiting to be abstracted and I believe that, at the rate I'm going, I will finish these just in time for my usual "go home" time which is 8:00PM.

Just to satiate the curiosity of some people, I changed my blog title because I am in a more positive state of mind now, compared to what I was experiencing when I began writing here. Skeletons in my closet reflects the grief and anger that created this blog. Now, as I trudge a more colorful path of life, one which showers me with bright lights every so often, I am nearly blinded, yet ecstatic and fulfilled. And so I change it to "make lemonade".

This is how we all should live. Let's take the anger out of ourselves and start looking at life in a more pleasant point of view. I pity those who are mad at the world everyday and use feign aloofness or directed hostility as a way of coping with life's lemons. Come on, things do get better in the long-run and we all know it.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. :)

May nakapagsabi sa akin na ang punong dahilan ng aking pagkakabagot sa buhay ay ang kakulangan ng interes na harapin ang kakaiba. Sa ilang banda, ito'y may katotohanan. Takot nga akong yumakap sa pagbabago. Lalong takot ako sa ipis, sa multo, sa tunog ng latang pinupunit, sa unano at sa mabaho. Marami pa akong pwedeng idagdag sa listahan ngunit habang sinusulat ko ito, naisip ko, siguro hindi ito ang "kakaiba" na tinutukoy ng kaibigan ko.

Ano nga ba ang kahulugan ng kakaiba? At paano nagiging iba ang isang bagay, o tao, o sitwasyon?

Kakaiba ako. I am different from the rest of the world. Ang magsabi sa aking may kapareho ako sa mundo, yung tunay at eksaktong kapareho di lamang sa itsura kundi sa salita, personalidad at diwa, ay tutukan ko ng baril sa ulo sabay hila sa bayag. OO, inisip kong lalaki ang magsasabi sa akin nito. Kung bakit, hindi ko alam. Marahil nadala lang ako ng kakapanood ko ng mga panayam kay Kris Aquino sa telebisyon. Kasing drama ng buhay niya ang buhay ko. Maaring may pagkakapareho kami sa ganang di kami nag-iisip muna bago magsalita. Kaya pareho rin kaming nagkakaproblema sa aming pagiging taklesa. Ngunit, dito nagtatapos ang pagkakapareha namin. Because unlike her, I would never go back to my mom to hide under her skirt when a man breaks my heart. O sige, sabihin na nating isusumbong ko siya sa nanay ko kung kinakailangan. Ngunit sa edad na 32, mali naman atang ang nanay at kapatid ko pa ang magplantsa ng gusot na pinasukan ko.

Balik tayo sa usapang kakaiba. Ibig sabihin ba nito, dahil sa unique ang ideas ko and di eksakto ang molde ng katauhan ko sa iba eh kakaiba ako? Marahil. Kung ganito ang lohikang susundan ko (di ko sinasabing ito lang ang pwedeng dahilan sapagkat alam kong marami. but for the purpose of this discussion I stick to one), ganoon nga ako. At kung gagawan ko ng karugtong ang sinabi kong takot ako sa kakaiba, tama lamang na sabihin kong takot ako sa sarili ko. (May philosophical fallacy bang involved sa sinabi ko?)

*to be continued