To avoid confusion, this was sent to me through email. Whoever wrote this is now my heroine.


For Him

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for, and if you dream of
meeting your
heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love, for your
dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are circling your
moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your
own sorrow, if
you have been opened by life's betrayals or have
become shriveled and
close from the fear of further pain. I want to know if
you can sit with
pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or
fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your
own, if you can
dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to
the tips of your
fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful,
to be realistic, to
remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be
true to yourself; if
you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray
your own soul;
if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it's
not pretty,
everyday, and if you can source your own life from its
presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and
mine, and still
stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver
of the full moon,
"Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how
much money you
have.
I want to know if you can get up, after the night of
grief and despair,
weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be
done to feed the
children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to
be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the
fire with me and
not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you
have studied.
I want to know what sustains you, from the inside,
when all else falls
away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and
if you truly like
the company you keep in the empty moments.

----

haaaaaaaaaaaay buhay.....

Breaking News

What started out with a few petty fights had escalated, full-blown, into a call for time apart. We each had lives to live and, apparently, we had not been prepared to include one another in our personal triumphs and struggles just yet. And so it ends here, for the meantime, until we find that silver lining from our respective storm clouds, the bulk of which is his that's why I mourn greater. When it will be, only destiny can tell.

Meanwhile, we go on existing.

Interim Solo-Flighter Turns Renegade

Half of my hair is gone and more. I only intended to accompany Hazel who was having her hair ironed straight, when the forces of impulse dragged me into that dreaded chair in front of a huge mirror to have my 6-month-old hair trimmed. Admittedly, I am one among the throng who believes heart troubles can be somehow assuaged by having hair chopped off, as if it could change the state of things.

Not satisfied with the trim, and feeling mighty rebellious, I asked to have light brown streaks to go with my then virgin hair. Now I have highlights. And no matter what people say about it looking good on me, I still feel it makes me looks like a cultural dancer. But that's just me. If I knew how to upload pictures in this godforsaken blog, I'd show you.

Modern Living

My first ever credit card arrives this week. Finally, my room will look more like me. I rub my hands in anticipation of new appliances and room furnishings. Hmm… maybe I should paint my walls with cartoons of jungle animals. Sadly, I will need my artist to make this happen.

Perks of the Job

What I like about writing for the broadsheet is being able to meet the quirky PR people and enjoying the freebies that go with them. I am in love with PR people; they may not be the nicest and most genuine people around (hehe) but they sure know how to have a good time! Here's to the future parties!

The press junket to a fantastic and heavenly island in Visayas is soon to happen. I am thankful that my name was one of the four picked out of the hat for the 4-day trip. Note to self: lose weight ASAP.

All in a Day’s Work

The 1 to 8 job has become a mechanical task. The kind of writing I do here requires a lot of patience, discipline and, in the long-run, genuine interest with what's happening in the international business scene. I find the last part quite difficult to accomplish, but since it's where I extract my bread and butter, I have to learn to live with it and appreciate; be thankful I have it because not everyone can. The benefits are stellar and the office has a very relaxed atmosphere so I can’t complain. Plus, they encourage me to continue writing for other media to hone my creativity (which is, by the way, rare in most companies). I also get to be on the Internet all the time.

Acknowledgements

Thank god I have friends who, despite being as twisted and dissatisfied with life as I am, are still alive, a little sane, and available whenever I need someone to talk to. Most of them have already contemplated suicide but never went for it because they realized they are too great to be lost in this world. You know who you are and I’m glad you’re holding on.

I'll probably go on hiatus for a while. Since everybody is seeking to find themselves recently, I have decided to join the cartel and try to discover what I really want out of life. It is possible that I will only find happiness when I distance myself from the rest of the world and commune with my shadow.

Until then.

Having trouble writing because not only has my Muse been avoiding me, my inspiration has also left, whether temporarily or permanently remains a puzzle.

Come back soon....

From Jeify's blog:


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